My name is Stacy Levy, and I’m here to talk with you today about communicating with kids who have learning differences and learning disabilities. I’ll explain one key shift that can make a big difference in your conversations with your child, and how it can help your child develop stronger communication skills over time.

Two Types of Communication: Declarative and Imperative

It is important for us to understand that there are two main types of communication: declarative and imperative. The difference between these two may not seem obvious, but in quality they are enormous.

Declarative communication is experience sharing communication. It’s going to be the wondering, the pondering, the problem solving, and the sharing of experiences through commenting, exclamation and those types of things.

Imperative communication is going to be more questioning and directives. And so those are very important for us to note when we’re talking about communication in general.

Many Parents Fall Back on Imperative Communication When Their Child Has a Learning Difference

It is found in research that, when we approach a child who has a different learning style, communication difficulties, or learning difficulties, parents and adults tend to engage with them in more of an imperative style of communication as opposed to a declarative style.

This would look more like questioning. Even though we know the answer, we might be questioning because we’re wanting feedback from that child. And that feedback from the child is challenged more when we approach them in a declarative manner.

For example, instead of saying, “What’s the weather like today?” (imperative), we would approach the child and say, “Wow, it’s a really beautiful day outside today,” (declarative). That little change in our communication style can make a big difference when we’re talking about how to engage the child dynamically. It gives them the opportunity to consider and think about their own voice.

How to Use More Declarative Communication with Your Child

Children are getting plenty of imperative communication at school when they are being tested and drilled and whatnot. It really is important for parents to engage in more declarative communication as opposed to imperative communication, because that’s how you can support the work that’s being done with our therapists.

What I would encourage you to do as a parent is to make a comment to your child and then pause. Make observations, and then pause. The pausing is so important. And for our children who require a little bit more think time, you’re going to have to give them time to process what you said and the opportunity to respond. Once they do, acknowledge the child’s perspectives and feelings about different situations. These are all wonderful things that globally are going to help your child become a better thinker, processor, and ultimately a better communicator.

I’m not telling you to throw away the questioning, because sometimes you’re going to want to say, “What’d you have for lunch at school today?” or something like that. But I would encourage you to sometimes approach it using declarative communication instead, to pause and think and say, “Oh, I had the best lunch today when I went out with my friends. I would love to hear what you had for lunch.”

Reach Out to Dynamic Therapy Specialists for More Information

If you would like more tips, or if you would like to understand more about how we use communication as an important part of our therapy process, contact us at info@dtsbr.com. Or you can reach us by phone at (225) 767-5032.

And if you’re not quite sure if your child has a learning or a language challenge, you’re welcome to complete one of our free developmental screeners and we can help guide you as to what the next steps are after that.